Thin Line
by xJessx
Summary: Holby City. An attempt at a Jac/Joseph oneshot


_AN: It occurred to me after the last episode that thing weren't ever going to be quite perfect between Joseph and Faye and with Luke admitting Jac was Joseph's "sexual nirvana" I thought I'd attempt to write something. Anyway, thank you so much for reading it and any ideas on how I can improve it would be most welcomed!_

Thin Line

Today was turning out to be a bad day for Joseph. And well, taking into consideration the events of the previous six months that meant it was pretty bad.

Faye. He didn't know what to think. She seemed, no he reminded himself she _**was**_ so genuine, so caring, so sweet... so unlike Jac. And that's what he wanted. He didn't want Jac with her temper, her mercurial moods, her manipulation, her betrayal. And yet Faye...there was something niggling him. Something wasn't quite right. She was adamant she had nothing to do with her previous two husband's deaths but then of course someone like Faye well, she wouldn't lie to him would she? She wasn't Jac.

It was all Jac's fault he knew. He would have trusted Faye without question, without a shadow of a doubt if he didn't have these trust issues hounding him. He was naïve; he understood that. How else had he not noticed that Jac was only interested in her career? And yet, as unbelievable and as illogical as it was, he missed her. Sometimes and only in weak moments, he reassured himself. She was stunning, one of the prettiest girls, no women, that he'd ever met and he had never been able to get over the fact that she was on his arm, that the men were shooting him envious glances as he walked in the room. He should have known something was up. She'd made him feel alive. His confidence had soared. He'd felt able to conquer his demons and even to perform without worry in theatre. Even his father had noticed. And then Jac had noticed his father watching with rather more than a fatherly glint in his eye, or maybe it was the other way round. Whichever, it didn't matter now. He was happy with Faye, sweet and beautiful Faye.

And yet, it was still Jac he saw in his dreams. Taunting him, tempting him. He could just about admit she still turned him on. He wasn't blind and he wasn't dead for god's sake. It was natural, it was biology and that was all. Faye was pretty and, yes of course he desired her, but with Jac it had been more intense, more primal and for Joseph that was so far from normal that he was scared of himself when he was with her. And he had always come back for more.

With a sigh of relief that it was the end of the shift, Joseph made his way to the Darwin staff room, to pick up his coat and to leave the hospital and with luck his thoughts behind him.

ooooo

"What the hell are you doing?" She ground out, trying to ignore the sudden lust that felt like it was overwhelming her. This was _**so**_ not going to happen. This was the last turn of events she'd ever imagined. She'd thoroughly blown it with the Byrne clan and yet here she was.

"Damned if I know." He was out of character and out of control.

He'd seen her half dressed and tempting. Obviously, changing out of her scrubs. And he'd gotten angry; she was standing there, back to him, every taut muscle, every soft curve taunting him with what he used to have. And what his father had had, he reminded himself. So every time he saw her got angry, it saved him from the lust and the love he still felt. But now, it was the two combined which was the most potent of all...

He'd entered the staff room, saw her changing and forgotten his current resolve and started arguing, the disagreement on the benefits of angioplasty for the patient a cover for everything that lay between and behind them. He'd been being nice, out of guilt, he'd condemned her and for once she was the innocent. And with this, the feelings he'd had resurfaced and he hated himself for it. She didn't deserve his guilt, she'd been so much worse than him. She was a cold manipulative bitch. And he wanted her.

He'd kissed her halfway through one of her stinging retorts about his father. He'd wanted her to stop taunting him with his failures and, if he was truly honest, to stop her thinking about his father. To start with she'd been shocked, cold and stiff and then she'd kissed back.

ooooo

Jac had stood immobile for felt like half a lifetime but could only have been a few seconds. Joseph was kissing her! And the most horrifying revelation dawned on her, she wanted him to continue.

This was not the Joseph she'd dated, the one who was too reserved to come forward, to show any passion, the one who it had, quite frankly, been boring and dull, even in bed. No, this was not the same Joseph who was currently pushing her up against the staff lockers, kissing her as though he wanted to dominate her, destroy her. And to be fair, she didn't blame him.

ooooo

They broke apart, gasping for air. And as they stared at each other trying to comprehend what the hell had just possessed them, Joseph saw in her eyes what had been missing the first time round – need and want and perhaps something else that flickered as she looked up at him. Just for once she was lost for words, for a bitchy retort or a snide comment.

And then it was gone. And the Jac he knew but really didn't love was back.

"Missing something, are you? Faye obviously just too used dead lovers, is she?"

Joseph opened his mouth to defend Faye, innocent and sweet Faye, and abruptly shut it again. It was, rather unfortunately, too close to the mark. But it wasn't Faye, it was him. He couldn't rid himself of Jac; she was like a stain that faded with bleach, always still lurking. He'd even... he was ashamed even to think of it...he'd called her name when he was with Faye the other night. Faye had reassured it was OK the next morning but still it had happened.

Would he ever be rid of her?


End file.
